The C final was terrible tonight. I might have to 'gua' it as the comma of my daydream to go study abroad...

 

Dreadful!

 

Christmas... Suddenly seems to be so far away...

 

Carolling tomorrow night...So far away...

 

New year...

 

Thanks WY,CC,LCS,xiuzun, and ZYQ. Thanks.

 

May you have a bright future...

-HY

 

! What's wrong?

 

Wang Wei 1 got sick, Wang Wei 2 got sick, Zhang Li got sick, Liu Qihan Got sick, Zhang Ping got sick, Ma Qiong got sick, Zuo Yang got sick, John got sick, then, my mother.

 

...

 

Mum just came back home from a long trip on business last afternoon. When I phoned her yesterday at noon everything sounded so good, and we were in active preparation for the American foreign teacher David's coming. Dad went on business yesterday afternoon, exactly right after mum's arrival. Did not want to miss the English mock exam, I stayed in the dorm last night after the cutural lecture presented by Sherri Nelson. I didn't know even in the least that mum was suffering the moment I finished listening to the lecture.

 

This morning, good.

 

This noon, good.

 

When I called home to inform mum my possible lateness due to my busy washing two pair of socks, I sensed something abnormal. Her voice being so weak, I finally know mum was not fine. I hurried home and saw her lying in bed with my aunt's accompany, who later told me mum started spewing on the journey to our home. Damn it! Why no body told me about this! Mum said she really felt a kind of impulse to cry last night, confronting a lonely dinning room with nobody caring about her esp. after a long, tiring task and her health condition not so good. But she held back the impulsion to call me back, considerately thinking that I might have my own important reason not to come back. Dad didn't know about that until this morning, as mother asked him which drug to take in our medicine kit.

 

For the time being, she is sleeping in the bedroom, having spilt up several times earlier. I filled hot-water bag for her and boiled another kettle of water. I won't return the campus at least till tomorrow evening this time. Perhaps I shall make a phone call to let David know I may quit the Sunday night's salon about the Creator and Evolution.

 

Hey! It's after all Christmas season! Why everyone's getting sick now? Take care, my friends.

 

May God bless us all.

-HY

This Friday I had a most unwilling dance class. In fact it couldn't be called a class. The students' union couldn't find suitable persons to pair their dancers, and I had to react actively as I was vice-monitor. But... the first time I touched a girl's hand... chilly, guilty, and... couldn't help praying for forgiveness. Not because it was a girl, but that she wasn't ZYQ. How I wish it had been her hands! Then I could dance far more freely, actively, and less shily, conservatively. But... would she accept my invitation if it were her standing in front of me? I was feeling quite uncomfortable after that practice, both in the stomach and heart. I rushed to have a washing and buried myself in arms, stiring in mind.

 

Last night in the western campus' students' activity centre, our peers put up great performances. But what touched me most was the sence in which Cui Yuwei(Dannie) was silently standing outside the hall while Zuo Yang(Glindar) kept waiting for him in the chilly wind also. Well, the causes and effects are... Dannie's accordion was the second one onstage, but maybe it was due to his nervousness, he himself was quite angry with his own performance although it was excellent in our point of view. He'd been requiring highly of himself, and moreover, he had intended to perform the piece as a special birthday present for Glindar who was going to be 17 years old the next day. After he stepped off the stage, he was...blaming on himself for the imperfect accordion performance extremely. At this moment Glindar went out to comfort him immediately. However, minutes later, she came back into the hall deadly worried. She asked me for help as Dannie was so out of mood that was standing on the plat roof playing his accordion as if he had been mad, taking in no words of anyone. So I made off there. I just kept leaning beside him on the guardrail, listening to his songs one after another, intensively feeling his deep regret and strong self-blaming mixed in the notes and tunes coming out of under his flying fingers. For quite a while, no one talked. I knew the next day he would probably feel nothing about it tonight, but at least for now, he needed to be ensured a spuare of quiet place, to make room for fierce fight in mind, to give his self-made emotion enough space to fade away. All of a sudden, just for an accidental glimpse, I actually found Glindar sliently standing behind the stairs looking at him from a distance, considerately not to make any sound for fear of disturbing him. It was freezing outside then, and the wind of night was of no pleasure to enjoy. I was going to say something when my cellphone got a new SMS. That's from Glindar, which read: I am standing in a place where you could hardly notice. How is he now?

 

I folded my Philips, patted Dannie on the shoulder. "Give me a smile." I slowly said that to him," then I'll show you a short message." Then... no more words needed. He finally eased his rigid face, telling me:" okay, give me some more time. I will think for a short while." Then I stepped back to my seat in the warm hall. It was the fifth repertoire already, but I thought his main problem was settled. Just wait... Meanwhile Glindar was still standing in the dark, looking at Dannie playing the accordion, bearing the chilly wind and the temptation to shelter herself in the heated grand hall.

 

Less than ten minutes later, he was back. Talking and laughing as if nothing had happened, and murmuring words and chuckling with Glindar as intimate as ever before.

 

This time, I was somehow feeling down. I didn't know... I didn't know whether I could finally wait to the day when YQ would sliently wait for me this way. I didn't know why there actually should be a Shouldar messing up with all these. Why it was him, why him. I didn't know whether I was right, but I knew I had no other choice simply because I didn't want any others.

 

Could I fetch u at the railway station? Could I carry the luggage for u once more? Could I ask you out and touch the hand? Could we sit in our high school's track field talking like in the old spring days? When the snow falls down, could there also be a snowman again? Someone leaning on the guardrail on 3F and laughing at a wet-all-over boy who is looking upward for God's sake?...

 

I didn't fall asleep until 0030 last hight, as it was stiring hard in the soul.

 

I must be mad, 'cuz I myself don't know what I've been talking about.

-Keith.H.Y.